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Overview Suslick Group Website Research Group Description Current Research Group Members Complete Publication List Curriculum Vitae Press Clippings Exec. Summary: Sonochemistry Exec. Summary: Smell-Seeing Exec. Summary: Porphyrin Research Introduction to Sonochemistry Information for Visiting |
WORDS OF HUMOR AND WISDOM Time spent laughing is time spent with the gods. —Japanese proverb When a thing has been said, and said well, have no scruple. Take it and copy it. — Anatole France
C'est moi.Stories that make us laugh are good. Knowledge comes by the truckload,
Suslick's Scheme of Priorities:
Suslick's Law of Threes:
Suslick's First Law of Maps: The plural of 'anecdote' is not 'data'. —KSS Science is fundamentally a neurotic behavior. The 'well-adjusted', by definition, do not wish to understand or change the world; they simply accept it. Only the neurotic wants to know why and how. Only the neurotic wants change. —KSS Never be intimidated by your own ignorance. All of us are mostly ignorant of what is known and infinitely ignorant of everything that isn't! —KSS Ego is a house cat. It's nice to stroke, but watch out for the claws; it needs feeding often, and heaven help you if it gets out the front door. —KSS Ties are what administrators use to cut off the flow of blood to their brains. —KSS Student Leader: a thug with big friends. Cynicism is the first refuge of the romantic. —KSS
To settle a violent dispute, two men went to the Rabbi. The wizened old scholar listened with care to the first man's tale and said, "You're right."
The Mulla NasrudinThe Mulla Nasrudin is the wise-fool of Sufiism and there are hundreds of stories about him that are used to teach the important lessons of life (Idries Shah has collected some of the best). This particular one, I used for the opening of my own Ph.D. thesis.  Walking one evening along a deserted road, Mulla Nasrudin saw in the distance a troop of horsemen coming towards him. His imagination started to work; he saw himself captured, beaten, and sold as a slave or impressed into the army. Nasrudin bolted, and dove into a ditch at the side of the road where he lay on his stomach, quivering with his hands covering. Puzzled at his strange behavior, the men ‚ friends of Nasrudin, after all ‚ stopped and asked, "What are you doing down there? Can we help?" "Just because you can ask a question, does not mean that there is a straightforward answer," said Nasrudin, who now realized what had happened. "It all depends on your point of view. If you must know, however: I am here because of you, and you are here because of me." Nasrudin was often quite absentminded. One night before going to bed, he lit a match to see if he'd blown the candle out. Another time, Nasrudin left a note on the door of his shop saying that he would return in an hour. When he returned, he saw the note and sat down to wait. Piet Hein's GrooksGrooks are short, often humorous, poems that are meant to teach some piece of wisdom. Piet Hein (Danish mathematician and architect) invented them during World War II, when Denmark was occupied by Germany. The short poems usually had a hidden meaning that was just below the sensitivities of the authorities. The name of these poems, as well as the signature used, "Kumbel", were picked simply because nothing else could be associated with them.  AtomyriadesNature, it seems is the popular name SimilarityCommutative LawNo cow's like a horse,
The Paradox of LifePhilosophical grook.A bit beyond perception's reach
ProblemsProblems worthy Nothing is IndispensableGrook to warn the universe against megalomaniaThe universe may
Out of TimeMy old clock used to tell the time
I'd Like—I'd like to know
Wisdom and AphorismWisdom in AbsurdityFirst things first, but not necessarily in that order. —Joe PalmerIf you come to a fork in the road, take it. —Yogi Berra Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories... —Steven Wright I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering. —Steven Wright There was only one catch and that was Catch22, which specified that a concern for one's safety in the face of dangers that were real and immediate was the process of a rational mind. Orr was crazy and could be grounded. All he had to do was ask, and as soon as he did, he would no longer be crazy and would have to fly more missions. Orr would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn't, but if he was sane he had to fly them. If he flew them he was crazy and didn't have to; but if he didn't want to he was sane and had to. —Joseph Heller, Catch22 Vegetarians taste better. —bumper-sticker If a Vegetarian eats only vegetables, what does a Humanitarian eat? — anon. If coconut oil comes from coconuts, and corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from? — anon. He was carefully treading in his own footsteps. —KSS Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. —Groucho Marx Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. —Groucho Marx Anything free is worth what you paid for it. —Gary O’Brien Everyone is entitled to my opinion. —Gary O’Brien I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure. —anon. Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before. —Steven Wright How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live in them? —George Carlin What's another word for Thesaurus? —Steven Wright What if there were no hypothetical questions? —Gary O’Brien No sense in being pessimistic, it probably wouldn’t work anyway. —Gary O’Brien What is the Hokey Pokey really all about? —Joe Palmer You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six. —Yogi Berra I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out" —Steven Wright I got an answering machine for my phone...now, when I'm not home and somebody calls me up...they hear a recording of a busy signal. —Steven Wright I played a blank tape on full volume. The mime who lived next door complained. —Steven Wright I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she left me before we met. —anon. Whatever can be said can be said clearly. —L. Wittgenstein (ironic for this maxim to come from the author of Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus) ThinkingNever Ask WhyMy dad was a great raconteur. He would tell this story about his training as a psychiatrist: An elder, very German psychiatrist would play act as a patient and my father would interview him. The "patient" would describe some behavior or anxiety, and my father was supposed to probe gently, saying such things as "And this bothers you?" or "Interesting..." or "And does this suggest anything to you?" After one particularly peculiar description by the "patient", my father asked, "And why do you do this?" At this point, the elder psychiatrist stood up, looked down over his thick, round glasses, and screamed, "Vhy? Vhy? Becuss I'm crazy, zat's vhy!" Never ask a crazy person why. — KSS Bodily exercise, when compulsory, does no harm to the body; but knowledge which is acquired under compulsion obtains no hold on the mind. — Plato, The Republic. Book VII. Most people would rather die than think; in fact, they do so. —Bertrand Russell The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts. —Bertrand Russell By all means let's be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains fall out. —R. Dawkins, Science, Delusion & the Appetite for Wonder I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I remembered who was telling me this. —Emo Philips Learning and TeachingWe don't raise children by lowest common denominator.—Nell Minow Don't let school interfere with your education. —Mark Twain Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects. —Will Rogers I was gratified to be able to answer promptly. I said I didn't know. —Mark Twain If you think education is expensive, try ignorance. —Andy McIntyre The beginning is the most important part of the work. —Plato, The Republic. Book II. The less you know, the more you think you know, because you don't know you don't know. —Ray Stevens A person who knows not and knows not that he knows not is a fool, shun him. A person who knows not and knows that he knows not is a child, teach him. A person who knows and knows not that he knows is asleep, wake him. A person who knows and knows that he knows is wise, follow him. —Ancient Babylonian Aphorism He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever. —Chinese proverb If you are planning for a year, sow rice; if you are planning for a decade, plant trees; if you are planning for a lifetime, educate people. —Chinese proverb A little knowledge is a dangerous thing. So is a lot. —Albert Einstein (1879-1955) U. S. physicist, born in Germany. The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple. —Oscar Wilde Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity. —General George S. Patton What did you ask at school today? —Richard Feynman Gil Haight, Professor Emeritus of the University of Illinois, used to tell a story about Albert Einstein: Gil was a graduate student at Princeton when Einstein was there, and they shared an interest in classical music. Einstein, in fact, was a gifted amateur violinist. At a special concert presented by Yehudi Menuhin, Gil was seated just in front of Einstein. As the first piece began, Einstein was nodding his head with his eyes half shut and very softly humming to the music. Midway through the first piece, Einstein quietly said, "Ooooh, I can do zat!" A bit later, he crooned excitedly, "Yes, yes, I can do zat, too!" Finally, after a particularly difficult passage, Einstein shook his head slowly, sighed, and said softly and sadly, "Och, I could never do zat!" —KSS Science and KnowledgeNever be intimidated by your own ignorance. All of us are mostly ignorant of what is known and infinitely ignorant of everything that isn't! —KSSThough we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not. —Ralph Waldo Emerson I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world. —Albert Einstein Never mistake knowledge for wisdom. One helps you make a living; the other helps you make a life. —Sandra Carey Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on. —Winston Churchill For every complex problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong. —H. L. Mencken (1880-1956) Seek simplicity and distrust it. —Alfred North Whitehead If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. —Unknown It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data. Insensibly one begins to twist facts to suit theories instead of theories to suit facts. —Sherlock Holmes, the fictional creation of Arthur Conan Doyle (1859-1930) British physician and novelist. The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man. —George Bernard Shaw Science is fundamentally a neurotic behavior. The 'well-adjusted', by definition, do not wish to understand or change the world; they simply accept it. Only the neurotic wants to know why and how. Only the neurotic wants change. —KSS Creativity, too, is fundamentally a neurotic behavior. The 'well-adjusted', by definition, do not wish to change the world; they simply accept it. Only the neurotic wants to create new things and new ideas. Only the neurotic needs to create. —KSS and Gary Ferrell Science is facts; just as houses are made of stone, so is science made of facts; but a pile of stones is not a house, and a collection of facts is not necessarily science. —Jules Henri Poincaré (1854-1912) French mathematician. Science is not formal logic–it needs the free play of the mind in as great a degree as any other creative art. It is true that this is a gift which can hardly be taught, but its growth can be encouraged in those who already posses it. —Max Born (1882-1970) German Physicist. Nobel Prize, 1954. [Science is] a great game. It is inspiring and refreshing. The playing field is the universe itself. —Isidor Isaac Rabi (1898-1988) U. S. physicist. Nobel prize 1944. The most incomprehensible thing about our universe is that it can be comprehended. —Albert Einstein (1879-1955) U. S. physicist, born in Germany. Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away. — Philip K. Dick Now, my own suspicion is that the universe is not only queerer than we suppose, but queerer than we can suppose. I have read and heard many attempts at a systematic account of it, from materialism and theosophy to the Christian system or that of Kant, and I have always felt that they were much too simple. I suspect that there are more things in heaven and earth that are dreamed of, or can be dreamed of, in any philosophy. That is the reason why I have no philosophy myself, and must be my excuse for dreaming. —John Burden Sanderson Haldane (1892-1964) English geneticist. Possible Worlds and other Essays (1927) I believe there is no philosophical high-road in science, with epistemological signposts. No, we are in a jungle and find our way by trial and error, building our road behind us as we proceed. —Max Born (1882-1970) German Physicist. Nobel Prize, 1954. The chess-board is the world; the pieces are the phenomena of the universe; the rules of the game are what we call the laws of Nature. The player on the other side is hidden from us. We know that his play is always fair, and patient. But also we know, to our cost, that he never overlooks a mistake, or makes the smallest allowance for ignorance. —Thomas Henry Huxley (1825-95) English biologist. Necessity, who is the mother of invention. —Plato, The Republic. Book II. There ain't no rules around here! We're trying to accomplish something! —Thomas Alva Edison (1847-1931) U. S. inventor. The plural of `anecdote' is not `data'. —K. S. Suslick Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please. —Mark Twain To argue from the general absence of evidence that there is no evidence for one's opponent's point of view is to write with an economy of truth. —A.B. Lovins, W.C. Patterson Nature 254, 280 (1975). Never make a calculation until you know the answer: make an estimate before every calculation, try a simple physical argument … before every derivation, guess the answer to every puzzle. Courage: no one else needs to know what the guess is. Therefore make it quickly, by instinct. A right guess reinforces this instinct. A wrong guess brings the refreshment of surprise. In either case, life … is more fun! —Wheeler, John A. and Edwin F. Taylor. Spacetime Physics, Freeman, 1966. Page 60. If an experiment requires statistical analysis to establish a result, then one should do a better experiment. —Ernest Rutherford (1st Baron Rutherford of Nelson) (1871- 1937) English physicist, born in New Zealand. Nobel prize for chemistry 1908. No effect that requires more than 10 percent accuracy in measurement is worth investigating. —Walther Nernst (1864-1941) German physicist, chemist. Nobel prize, 1920. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zig-zag? —George Carlin. If any student comes to me and says he wants to be useful to mankind and go into research to alleviate human suffering, I advise him to go into charity instead. Research wants real egotists who seek their own pleasure and satisfaction, but find it in solving the puzzles of nature. —Albert Szent-Györgi (1893-1986) U. S. biochemist. The problem with this seminar is that the ratio of hype to results is too high, and I have nothing against large numbers. —KSS, January 28, 1997 All of physics is either impossible or trivial. It is impossible until you understand it, and then it becomes trivial. —Ernest Rutherford (1st Baron Rutherford of Nelson) (1871- 1937) English physicist, born in New Zealand. Nobel prize for chemistry 1908. A man must have a certain amount of intelligent ignorance to get anywhere. —Charles Franklin Kettering (1876-1958) U. S. engineer and inventor. You can observe a lot by watching. —Yogi Berra If you can't imitate him, don't copy him. —Yogi Berra If at first you don't succeed, then sky diving definitely isn't for you. —anon. Basic research is what I am doing when I don't know what I am doing. —Werner Von Braun (1912-1977) German rocket engineer, in U. S. after 1945. Every honest researcher I know admits he's just a professional amateur. He's doing whatever he's doing for the first time. That makes him an amateur. He has sense enough to know that he's going to have a lot of trouble, so that makes him a professional. —Charles Franklin Kettering (1876-1958) U. S. engineer and inventor. Big whirls have little whirls, That feed on their velocity; And little whirls have lesser whirls, And so on to viscosity. —Lewis Fry Richardson (1881- ) English physicist, psychologist. Summarizing his classic paper, The Supply of Energy From and To Atmospheric Eddies (1920). 
ChemistryIf you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate. —Steven WrightYou can't change thermodynamics by encouragement. —S. Lippard, January 28, 1997 I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add. —Steven Wright Organic chemistry just now is enough to drive one mad. It gives me the impression of a primeval tropical forest full of the most remarkable things: a monstrous and boundless thicket with no way of escape, and into which one may well dread to enter. —1835, Friedrich Wohler (1800-1882), first to make an 'organic' compound (urea) from 'inorganic' precursors. To say that a man is made up of certain chemical elements is a satisfactory description only for those who intend to use him as a fertilizer. —Hermann Joseph Muller (1890-1967) U. S. geneticist. Nobel prize for medicine 1946. Organic chemistry is the chemistry of carbon compounds. Biochemistry is the study of carbon compounds that crawl. —Mike Adams One day a man walked in and said "If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet?" —Steven Wright How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink? —anon. It doesn't matter what temperature the room is; it's always room-temperature. —Steven Wright Society and BusinessNo one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public. —H. L. Mencken (1880-1956)There's no system foolproof enough to defeat a sufficiently great fool. —Edward Teller, quoted in "Nuclear Reactions", by Joel Davis in Omni, May 1988, p. 46. In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for. As for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican. —H. L. Mencken (1880-1956)  The current state of our two-party system. —KSS All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way. —Leo Tolstoy; opening line of Anna Karenina. Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me? —Groucho Marx The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it. —Franklin P. Jones The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. —anon. Not to the swift, the race. Not to the strong, the fight. —Henry Van Dyke The race may not always be to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet. —Daymon Runyon Those who live by the sword will be shot by those who don't. —Gary Hamel The conquistador is inclined to put a swift sword to the natives; the capitalist finds it more profitable to work them slowly to death. —Michael Parenti Student Leader: a thug with big friends. Political Leader: a thug with rich friends. World Leader: a thug with an army. —KSS A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it. —Oscar Wilde (Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills) (1854-1900) Irish writer. When Change threatens to rule, then the rules suddenly change. — Michael Parenti's 2nd Law of Politics Annual income 20 £, annual expenditure 19 £, 19 shillings: result happiness. Annual income 20 £, annual expenditure 20 £, 1 shilling: result misery. —Charles Dickens To succeed in the world it is not enough to be stupid, you must also be well-mannered. —Voltaire Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now. —anon. We should distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes. —Henry David Thoreau Mr. Dryer believes in a sense of humor and to facilitate this, he does not sleep. —Joel S. Dryer Sharks don't sleep. —KSS There is no such thing as a pet shark. —KSS If you bring in a shark to get rid of a shark, all you get is a bigger, meaner shark. —KSS Ties are what administrators use to cut off the flow of blood to their brains. —KSS You may have heard that a dean is to faculty as a hydrant is to a dog. —Alfred Kahn Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian. —Dennis Wholey If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for? — George Carlin We all know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that! —Tom Lehrer Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film. —anon. Do not do unto others as you would they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same. —George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now. —Zaphod via Douglas Adams. Ego is a house cat. It's nice to stroke, but watch out for the claws; it needs feeding often, and heaven help you if it gets out the front door. —KSS The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins. —Oliver Wendell Holmes I assume full responsibility for my actions, except for the ones that are someone else’s fault. —Steve Sanderson This is an exact replication of National Public Radio (NPR) interview between a female broadcaster and US Army General Weinwald who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation. FEMALE INTERVIEWER: "So, General Weinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?" GENERAL WEINWALD: "We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting." FEMALE INTERVIEWER: "Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?" GENERAL WEINWALD: "I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range." FEMALE INTERVIEWER: "Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?" GENERAL WEINWALD: "Don't see how... we will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm." FEMALE INTERVIEWER: "But you are equipping them to become violent killers." GENERAL WEINWALD: "Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?" The radio went silent and the interview ended. Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies. —anon. Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to. —Mark Twain When choosing between two evils I always like to try the one I've never tried before. —Mae West The avalanche has started, it is too late for the pebbles to vote. — Vorlon Ambassador Kosh Naranek, Babylon 5: Believers; J. Michael Straczynski. I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. So I ran over and said "Stop! Don't do it!" "Why shouldn't I?" he said. I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!" He said, "Like what?" I said, "Well...are you religious or atheist?" He said, "Religious." I said, "Me too! Are you Christian or Buddhist?" He said, "Christian." I said, "Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?" He said, "Protestant." I said, "Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?" He said, "Baptist!" I said, "Wow! Me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?" He said, "Baptist Church of God!" I said, "Me too! Are you original Baptist Church of God, or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?" He said, "Reformed Baptist Church of God!" I said, "Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?" He said, "Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915!" I said, "Die, heretic scum!!", and pushed him off. —Emo Philips Do not speak unless your words improve upon the silence. —Quaker Proverb Life, the Future, and its AlternativeThere was a young lady, quite bright,Whose speed was far faster than light. She left one day In a relative way, And returned home the previous night! —Anon For years I wanted to be older, and now I am. —Margaret Atwood Everybody wants to get old, but nobody wants to be old. —Goethe It's a sobering thought that by the time Mozart was my age, he'd been dead for five years. —Tom Lehrer In dog years, I’m dead. —Joe Palmer The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball. —Doug Larson 
Roses smell sweetest just before the petals fall off. —Gary Hamel I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve it through not dying. —Woody Allen If you don't go to other men's funerals, they won't go to yours. —Clarence Day I’m so pessimistic that I think of perfect health as a pre-cancerous condition. —Joe Palmer What happens if you get scared half to death twice? —anon. I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens. —Woody Allen It is impossible to experience one's own death objectively and still carry a tune. —Woody Allen You should emulate your heroes, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead. — anon. Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils. —Hector Berlioz Soon we'll be out amid the cold world's strife. Soon we'll be sliding down the razor blade of life. So let's give a toast, as each of us recalls, to ivy-covered professors in ivy-covered halls. —Tom Lehrer The future ain't what it used to be. —Yogi Berra
©2006, K.S. Suslick; all rights reserved. Comments and suggestions: ksuslick@uiuc.edu |
